Hopeless
by Rose Tyler
Summary: It was the exact same thing; he always desperately reached for her, but could never manage to save her.


**A/N:** I was watching Spiderman, and for some reason became intrigued with the idea of Peter not succeeding in saving Mary Jane from the Green Goblin. This is my first time writing for Spiderman. I've once again become obsessed with the trilogy, so I plan to write more fanfics for it after this. Please review if you like it! It would mean a lot to me, seeing as this is my first.

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Here I lie forever,

sorrow still remains.

There is nothing left inside, but I am wide awake.

-Breaking Benjamin, _Hopeless_

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**Hopeless_  
_**

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"MJ!" he screamed, reaching out for her as she fell in slow motion, her screams echoing in his mind. He reached and reached, shot web after web. But it seemed that no matter how far he reached, or how many webs he shot, he could not save her. He could not take hold of her hand and swing her away to safety. She hit the water with a sickening thud.

Peter Parker shot out of bed, dripping in sweat. He wiped his hand across his face, willing the nightmare to go away. It was a recurring nightmare, one that came to him every night. It was the exact same thing; he always desperately reached for her, but could never manage to save her.

The sad thing about the dream was that it was not simply something produced by his imagination; it was a memory.

He tried his best to hold in the tears, but, after weeks of succeeding, he finally broke down.

The memory came flooding back to him. The Green Goblin holding on to Mary Jane with one hand, holding on to the cable of the tram full of children in the other. Taunting him that he had to make a choice. Peter knew he needed to save the children before Mary Jane, that that was what she would have wanted had she the chance to tell him. But he loved her with all of his heart.

The goblin had released both, and Peter only had one slight moment to decide. He swung for Mary Jane, hoping to grab her on his swing to the cable car. He had reached out, and for a brief moment, their fingers had touched. But then she was gone, gone down towards the water. Down towards her fate.

He had grabbed the tram, gently setting it down on the boat that had now reached the space below. The Goblin sped off, cackling evilly as the crows of people above grew silent in respect for the woman they had just seen lose her life. Peter immediately dove at the place where Mary Jane had hit the water, desperately seeking her out in vain.

Peter Parker shook his head, not wanting to relive the rest of the memory. He got out of bed, going to the sink and filling a glass with water. He chugged it down as if to try and drown the memory within him. The memory that haunted him always.

He crawled back into bed, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looked pathetic, he knew it. He was pathetic. He always had been. That was why Mary Jane had died without knowing how he truly felt about her. Because he was always too afraid to tell her. Too pathetic.

He pounded his fist into his pillow, feathers flying out at the impact of his enhanced strength. He realized the mess he was making, but it did not matter to him. He got up and went to his closet, opening the forgotten black case that had been lying in the corner, covered in dust. He opened it, running his fingers across the chest of his Spiderman suit.

After losing Mary Jane, he had decided to quit being Spiderman. Uncle Ben had told him that with great power comes great responsibility. And Peter's responsibility had been to protect everyone. Yet he had failed at saving one of the people he loved the most. Two, counting his uncle. And he had wondered who the next victim of his "great" power was to be. Aunt May? Harry? They were all he had left. So he had packed up his suit, shutting it away in an empty corner of his closet.

The sound of sirens blared outside as Peter's fingers hovered over the suit. And in that moment, something inside of him changed. He realized that while he had no way of going back to save Mary Jane, or of saving Uncle Ben, he still had the chance to save the loved ones of others. Being Spiderman was his destiny, and he could not run from it. He was destined to save as many people as he could, no matter what.

Now in suit, he jumped onto the window ledge, taking one last look to the bed where the nightmare attacked him every night. He then turned, jumping out the window, and shot across the New York City skyline.

Spiderman, fighting crime and saving lives for the first time in months.

Peter Parker, feeling for the first time in months a glimmer of hope.

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**Please review!  
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